英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇1
河上漂流(中英)
A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”
一个男人路过旅行社时，看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天，全部费用只需40美元”。
ImPssed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.
面对如此低价的诱惑，他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。”眨眼间，旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那个人打昏了。
When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same Pdicament on the other side of the river.
当那个人醒来之后，发现自己被捆在一个木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。过了一会儿在河的另一边，他看到一个和他处境一样的人。
"$40 Murray cruise?" he calls out.
"40美元墨累河之游?”他喊到。
"Yep!" says the man on the other side.
“是呀!”那人答道。
"I'll bet you we don't even get breakfast,”he yells.
“我打赌我们还没吃早饭呢。”他喊道。
"Well，”calls the other man, “we did last year.”
“对，”另一个人说，“我们去年吃过了。”
英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇2
给丈夫最好的警告(中英)
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so that he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I' m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
我的丈夫对我时常波动的情绪很不高兴。所以那天他给我买了一个心情戒指，那样他就可以从戒指上看出我的心情。当我的心情好的`时候，那个戒指就会变成绿色。当我的心情不好的时候，在我丈夫的额头上就会留下一大块红色的戒指印。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇3
实话实说(中英)
As our plane made it's landing at O' Hare, the flight attendant began her "welcome and thanks" speech.
当我们的飞机在欧海尔降落时，飞机的机组人员开始了她的“欢迎和感谢”的演讲。
"Welcome to Chicago, where the local time is 6: 15. It has been our pleasure to serve you today. We hope you have enjoyed your flight. We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing United.”
“欢迎来到芝加哥，当地时间是六点十五分。今天能够给你们提供服务是我们的荣幸。我希望你们对此次飞行感到满意。虽然你们选择了一家破产的航空公司，但是我们还是感谢你们选择了联合航空公司。”
英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇4
She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two Psents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One Psent is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"
Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange Psents with each other."
有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
她很激动，并且急于要告诉她的丈夫。她说：“亲爱的，我买了两样东西给你做生日礼物。我现在就要告诉你，因为我等不得到那一天才说。一件礼物是一个地垫，可以放在我的梳妆台前。另一件是一个青铜的小雕像，可以放在客厅的壁炉架上”她还说：“好啦，你准备给我买什么呢?”
她的丈夫想了一会就说：“我最好是给你买一个刮胡刀和几条领带。这样我们就可以互相交换礼物了。”
英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇5
A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."
Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"
The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(无知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”
"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."
有个士兵没有注意到一个年轻的陆军中尉，没有向他敬礼。中尉很严厉地对那个士兵说：“你没有向我敬礼，因此你要马上敬100个礼。”
这时候将军过来了。他看到那个可怜的士兵就要开始敬礼时，就大声问道：“这是怎么啦?”
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中尉解释说：“这个蠢货没有向我敬礼，我就罚他马上向我敬一百个礼。”
将军笑着说：“完全正确。不过，老弟，别忘了他向你每敬一个礼，你都要回礼的啊!”
